TMNTUncut
by Vestque the Artist
Summary: Summary? Two words. Michelangelo, camcorder. Need I say more? Let the good times roll!


Hello all. Just felt like writing something a bit random, lol. I haven't done general/comedy stuff in soo long, lol, I just felt up for it. Ah well, here goes.

Disclaimer: Sometimes the best way to be smart is to say nothing at all…too bad some people are too dumb to realize that. WHOO TMNT'S NOT MINE! WHOO!

TMNT Uncut

The screen buzzed lightly as the tape was inputted into the VCR but as soon as the green fingered hand pressed play, the screen immediately came to life only to reveal complete and totally darkness.

"_Hmm. Is this thing on?"_

Michelangelo's voice sounded from the television, but still the screen remained completely black. There was a sound of fumbling but it only lasted for a second before Michelangelo's voice sounded out yet again.

"_Well geez April. Some gift. I can't even tell if it's on or not. Where are those instructions!"_

There was even more fumbling and grumbling until finally it all just stopped altogether.

"_AH! Found them. Let's see…On button, on. Red light? That's on too!…Ohh!" _

Suddenly the darkness was lifted to reveal the dishevelment and disorganization that was the inside of Michelangelo's room. The camera shifted as if being put down, which finally allowed the turtle in question to come into view in front of it.

"_Sorry. Forgot to take the cover off… ANYWAYS! Yay! I have a new camcorder! Happy Birthday to ME!" _

Michelangelo's beaming face filled up the entire screen and he spoke, temporarily submersing the whole thing in green.

"_Well, it's really not my birthday. No one knows where we were born. So it's more like a day that we celebrate my birth…BUT WHO CARES WHAT IT IS! Just look at all the awesome gear!" _

Michelangelo's giant grinning face disappeared then. Moments later the camera was jerked up and away as if being picked up. Meanwhile, Michelangelo continued to rant.

"_Yeah! Well April and the guys had a super awesome b-day party for me! It rocked! It was everything a turtle could ever want! There was music, and cool hats, and dancin'!…Well, I was the only one dancin, but YOU GET THE IDEA! And, oh yeah! How could I forget the presents!"_

The camera was suddenly still as Mikey finally zeroed in on what he referred to as 'the presents' though it wasn't so much an arrangement of presents as it was just a cluttered desk with more stuff scattered around it. Nonetheless, it was then that Michelangelo's face reappeared. The bubbling grin and green skin one again curtained the screen, except this time he was so close the steam of his breath streaked across the camera lens as he talked.

"_Yeah, they all got me presents, even Casey!…if you count a piece of gum."_

Michelangelo huffed, a dark cloud suddenly coming over his features, changing his face from that of a huge beam to a subtle glare.

"_That cheapskate…"_

Nonetheless, just as quickly as it had come, it went and like magic, the painfully wide grin returned to his orange-banded face.

"_Anyways, everyone else got me awesome gifts! Raph got me the newest issue of 'Silver Century,' Donny boogied up my boogie board, and Leo got me the coolest pair of nunchaku,-though I could never replace my babies,- **and** Splinter got me thiis!"_

By then, Michelangelo's face was replaced with that of the cluttered desk, the view of the camera moving to the objects as Michelangelo commented on their origins. At the last object, however, his hand actually appeared on the screen. Slowly his green hand ran over the flat blade of the weapon and then to its wooden handle, as if savoring the very essence of it through his fingertips.

"_It's called a Shoge, an old super cool ancient Japanese weapon. It combines both of my favorites! You can swing it like a 'chuk, or use it like just a plain ol' grappling hook. If it were a woman, it would be the perfect woman. Oh yeah…"_

The green hand ran its fingers down the bundle of twelve foot long chain attached to the handle before finally resting on the large ring at its end. It was there that the hand seemed to linger, that is until he was finally interrupted.

"_So are you gonna help clean up the mess from your damn party, or are you just gonna caress your 'dream girl' all day?"_

"_AH!"_

The camera suddenly jumped then instantly streaked to the floor. The new view? Michelangelo's feet, of which, shuffled uncomfortably.

"_Ah, Raph, you scared me…"_

The feet continued to shuffle. Meanwhile, Raphael's voice sounded out yet again, this time, painfully sarcastic.

"_Oh sorry, Casanova. I didn't realize that I was interrupting anything important. Want me to leave, so you can the pretty lady there can be alone?"_

"_Ah, get off it Raph. You wish you could get this kind of action."_

There must have been a mutual reference to the Shoge for both brothers chuckled good-naturedly. The next time Raphael spoke though the sarcastic tone was absent from his voice. In its place was sincerity as well as curiosity.

"_Hey. Is that the camcorder Ape got ya?"_

The camera jerked then as if Michelangelo had finally remembered that it was on and pointed to the floor.

"_Oh yeah! It sure is! What do ya think?"_

Michelangelo finally brought the camera up and in response the screen shifted from that of his feet to that of another green face. Slightly diagonaled by the lopsided hold, Raphael's face grinned from the screen.

"_It's awesome! Is it on?"_

"_Is Splinter a rat? Of course it's on!"_

On the screen, Raphael's grin went from wide to almost sinister as if suddenly budding on an idea.

"_Can I hold it?"_

There was a pause as Michelangelo seemed to ponder over the idea of his hot-headed brother's grubby hands all over his brand new camcorder. Then from behind the camera, Michelangelo preceded to whine.

"_But I've hardly had a chance to play with it yet…"_

In response, Raphael grew sarcastic once more.

"_Come on Mikey, it's not like I'm asking to have it!…I just wanna hold it a little-"_

"_No! You would probably break it!"_

"_I said, come on!"_

On the screen Raphael growled in his exclamation, but nonetheless, the turtle behind the camera still continued to shake his head, and as a result, shook the camera as well.

"_No…I don't think so-"_

"_Why you little-!"_

In an instant Raphael's angered face launched straight for the camera. There was a shuffle as Raphael seemed to be wrestling the stubborn Michelangelo out of the camcorder. Although the camera was still on, it was inefficient in actually catching anything more than just an arm or leg here or there.

Then, the camera hit the floor.

There was a pause, both turtles halting in their scramble for the video camera only to look into the now sideways lens. By then, they were both on the floor as well.

"_Now look what you did! Aw man, it's probably broken now…"_

"_Ah please, Mikey. It's not broken. See, the red light is still o-"_

The screen then exploded into static. For a second the screen just buzzed, the white snowflakes dancing in an almost a chaotic rhythm until finally…

"_Mikey, I can't believe you broke April's gift. You've only gotten it this morning, and already I'm fixing it."_

The camera was turned back on then, except this time, instead of the screen being filled with the toxic dump of the inside of Michelangelo's room the screen opened to that of a new green face. Behind his purple bandana his eyes were set intensely as if concentrating. In the corners of the screen the setting was made evident by the random lab bench as well as the half finished inventions spread across the visible table.

They were all in Donatello's lab.

On the screen, Donatello finally relaxed and sighed.

"_Alright, I think its ok now. Geez Mikey, what did you do?"_

Donatello turned from the camera to address the wide eyed worried turtle behind him. In response, that turtle then huffed, his eyes growing even wider with misery as he pleaded his case.

"_But Donny, it isn't my fault. Mr. Sticky fingers over there just couldn't keep his grubby hands off of it. He's the one that dropped it!"_

Suddenly angered, Michelangelo pointed accusatively at the brother, of which now leaned coolly against Donatello's wall. Raphael only grunted.

"_If you had givin' it to me when I asked nicely, then all of this just wouldn't have had to happen, would it?"_

"_Whatever Raph! You just can't handle the idea of me saying no and you not getting your own way…for once!"_

"_Hey!" _

The coolness was suddenly gone and in its place flowed the anger from before.

"_What the hell is that supposed to mea-!"_

"_You guys! Not here. Not now."_

Donatello's voice sounded out as he wisely intervened on the brewing and fast-growing heated dispute. On the screen Donatello's face reappeared, his eyes as set and stern as they were before, except this time it wasn't as much in concentration as it was in annoyance. It was clear that he wanted them out, and as soon as possible. Just as suddenly as he had appeared the camera was mobile again, moving closer and closer to Michelangelo's shell until finally it was thrust forward as he seemly shoved it into the hands of his younger brother.

"_Here, take it and get out."_

Although it was not seen by the camera, a shuffling of feet still flowed to the audio feed as Donatello promptly kicked them out by means of pushing the both of them through the door and locking it respectively.

When the camera was finally brought from Michelangelo's shell it revealed that of a dark and empty hallway then Michelangelo's face as he seemingly scanned the device for remaining damages. Over his shoulder, unknown to Michelangelo, Raphael seemed to check as well. Meanwhile, Michelangelo's voice sounded out and into the audio of the camera.

"_Good, it seems to be working now, no thanks to you!"_

Michelangelo threw a glare over his shoulder, and response Raphael only grunted.

"_Whatever Mike, whatever. I don't have time for this. You can keep your stinking camera."_

Angered, Raphael growled, but said nothing more. Instead, he just sidestepped the shell of his younger brother, and continued out of the view of the screen. Michelangelo turned the camera just in time for it to spot Raphael leave the hallway and disappear inside of his own room. Behind the camera, Michelangelo seemed to scoff.

"_Ahh, Good riddance. Don't need you stinkin' up my video anyways."_

Despite his harsh words, there still seemed to be a hesitation, the camera lingering on the empty hallway too long for it to be a coincidence.

"_Yeah…good riddance…"_

The screen then flicked to darkness and then static as if having been turned off. This time the static lasted much longer than before, hinting the length of time the camera had not been put to use. Until…

"_Man! I am bored…"_

The screen suddenly erupted into color and sound as the camera was turned on once again. This time it revealed that of an empty kitchen, instead of the messy and cluttered room from before. The kitchen was spotless, hinting that enough time had passed to have it be thoroughly cleaned by the lot of them and that by now they had all gone their separate ways. The sound of a running shower echoed in the background from a bathroom beyond that of the kitchen.

Nonetheless, Michelangelo blinked into the camera as he sighed yet again.

"_So bored…" _

Michelangelo's voice trailed off as placed his head down on the kitchen table, and as a result, filling the screen with green once more. It seemed as though this time the turtle was not holding the camera for himself, but instead had placed it on the table as well before turning it on.

Resulting in the camera actually being steady, for once.

Nonetheless, and on the screen Michelangelo began to ponder aloud.

"_You know, at first this was fun, but a guy can only do so much with a camera without it getting boring…"_

"_That's just cause you're not creative enough to know what to do with a camera."_

Michelangelo sat up and the new but painfully familiar voice.

"_Oh, and I guess you are, Raphael?"_

There was a pause before Raphael finally spoke again. This time the smirk could almost be heard in his voice, even though his face was completely unseen and beyond the camera's view.

"_Let's just say, I have a few ideas…"_

Michelangelo looked beyond the camera, which seemed to be where his brother was standing, and frowned. Clearly he was thinking over their former transgressions and heated argument. But with Raphael coming around like he did, the usually hotheaded turtle didn't seem to be holding anything against him. Still, Michelangelo eyed his brother in doubt.

"_But, I thought you 'didn't have time for this.'" _

Michelangelo recited his brother's harsh word from before, and in response Raphael seemed to smile.

"_Well, I have the time now, that is, if you don't mind me 'stinkin up your video.'"_

On the screen, Michelangelo slowly smiled before finally beaming.

"_No, not at all…What's your plan?"_

"_Well…just listen." _

The mischievous tone in Raphael's voice returned full force as he suddenly hushed his brother. Michelangelo then quieted, choosing to do as his brother said, and listen to his surroundings. The pitter patter of distant water still resonated as someone worked the shower. Now slight singing could be heard from the bathroom as well, and with a mischievous smile, Michelangelo recognized the off key voice as it sang some random showtune.

At the sight of his recognition, Raphael spoke up once more, his grin resonating thoroughly in his voice.

"_Let's get this movie started, shall we."_

Raphael must have turned off the camera from behind, for then and once again snow and fuzz inhabited the screen. However, this time the lack of footage only lasted for a moment before finally…

The screen opened to show that of white tiled and a steam filled room. Directly in front of the screen a green figure moved around behind that of a muggy shower curtain. The singing was louder now, proving that indeed whoever it was behind the curtain was the one producing of the off-key music.

And if the purple bandana hanging from over the shower curtain was of any clue, they knew exactly who their culprit was.

Meanwhile, Raphael tip-toed into vision, his grin as evil as it was wide. Excitedly, he peered into the camera of which, if the snickering behind the lens and the shaking of the camera was of any clue, was being held by a much humored Michelangelo. Finally gaining his composure, Raphael put three fingers up with his two hands as he mouthed the countdown to the best moment of their soon to be short little lives.

"_Three…two…one."_

At the cue the red-banded turtle finally and suddenly ripped away the thin barrier of plastic curtain only to reveal a very wet and very naked Donatello. At the sudden and thoroughly rude intrusion Donatello jumped as the curtain was suddenly ripped away, and then screamed when he saw the camcorder.

"_WHAT THE HELL-?" _

But by the time he was able to sputter any sort of objection, it was already over. Wasting no time at all Raphael grabbed the yellow and orange object in Donatello's loose grasp before turning for a quick and immediate retreat.

"_Go Mikey! Go! Go! Go!"_

At Raphael's sudden prod, the camera seemed to back out of the door before turning tail completely and bouncing down the hallway. Meanwhile, and behind them Donatello's curses flowed through the house, however, most of it was drowned out by the unmistakable sound of Raphael's laughter.

Turning sharply, the screen went from that of a hallway to a very familiar and extremely messy room before turning just in time to see Raphael's shell as he shut and locked the door. With the door secure, Raphael finally turned to the camera, his grin just as sinister as it was before. Whatever, he had stolen, it was now hidden in his grasp, and Michelangelo was all too eager to find out exactly what it was.

"_Well?" He began from behind the camera. "What did you steal?"_

Behind him, screaming as well as pounding resonated from the barricaded door, but nonetheless, Raphael's grin only grew as he slowly opened his hand.

"_Ever since we were five, Donatello has never been able to wash without his rubber ducky…"_

The little yellow and orange duck in Raphael's palm seemed to be the last straw. Heavy laughter exploded from behind the screen, shaking the camera as a result. Suddenly, the camera seemed to freefall as Michelangelo lost his grip on the camcorder and the screen went black until finally and permanently giving into the static once more.

The video was finished.

Donatello growled as he pressed the stop button on the remote control before leaning back into the couch. That was the last straw. Not only did they horrifically invade his privacy, but they also stole Mr. Bathtime Ducky.

And that could _never_ be forgiven.

Standing, Donatello crossed the dark and deserted den and removed the video tape from the VCR. It was no earlier that one am, but after finally getting his hands on the tape (They had to come out of that room sometime, and when they did Donatello was right there. However, the camcorder had been the only thing he could get his hands on before being muscled out of the room by a very forcible Raphael.) He knew that he wouldn't be able to watch it immediately.

So he waited…

Now he held the tape that could easily be the focal point for weeks of humiliation, or years of blackmail. He would be at their mercy…

That is, if this tape ever saw the light of day.

Smirking, Donatello grasped the tape even harder, the thought of destroying all evidence of that day making up for the day itself. Nonetheless, and despite how good that idea sounded, his quick-paced mind immediately hit him with a chilling thought.

They still had Mr. Ducky and if he knew his brothers like he thought he did, the destruction of this tape would make the chances of him ever seeing his precious duck again zero to nil.

Stuck between a tiled wall and a hard place he was.

Sighing, Donatello's mind came up with one last and finally option. He turned then and picked up the camcorder from off of the couch before growing an evil smirk of his own.

Raphael wasn't the only sinister one in the family.

"Well then, I won't get mad. I'll just get even."

* * *

……..What have I done! Another chaptered story! Oh the humanity! ……..R and R Maybe one more chapter… 


End file.
